Linda Kaplan Thaler once wrote a terrific little book called, "The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness." I have it on audiobook, and every few months, I'll listen to it on the way to the Box. It seems obvious, but it's not: nice pays.
Her three main tenets:
1. Thank the delivery guy. "Positive impressions are like seeds," Linda says. "They're just seeds that are going to grow and grow and grow. They may not have any impact now but they will probably 20 or 30 years down the line." Linda says the delivery guy, who may be low on the food chain now, may not always be!
2. Don't be so smart. Linda says, instead of impressing people with how smart you are, impress them with how smart you make them feel. "It's so important to not think of yourself as the star of your own movie…put yourself in the other movie and think, 'How would they want to feel?'"
3. Help your enemies. For example, when you're competing with another company for an account, don't concentrate on putting down the other company. Instead, focus on the good qualities of your company.
In our Summer Apprenticeship program, the first text we handed out was, "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This, more than any other text, has helped our business slowly expand to this point.
One more for consideration (don't worry, I'll tie them together in a moment): Zig Ziglar's "Presumptive Close" - assume that the deal is already done, and speak that way. Instead of, "Do you want to buy it?" try "I can have it here by Friday. How's that?" If it sounds a little too much like trickery, consider Ziglar's greatest quote of all time: "You can get anything you want in life by helping other people get what THEY want in life."
My own interpretation on all this, finally: thank people in advance. Thank them when it's not necessary. Don't go overboard; be genuine. Thank people in advance for showing up for your event. Thank the cleaning crew on Wednesday morning, BEFORE the 7pm group trashes the Box ("Hey guys, a quick note of thanks: you're doing a great job here. It's a tremendous relief when I'm coaching to know that the gym will look great tomorrow morning, no matter how badly we trash it tonight.") Thank the City Inspectors for teir patience before they show up. Don't thank the waitress for the delicious meal you're about to enjoy; but thank her for bringing the water so quickly.
One of the best ideas in another favourite book, "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari," is that of thankfulness. The book would like you to start your day by thanking several people, preferably face-to-face. I like the more permanent email method. Receiving an email from someone at 5am, knowing that you were among their first thoughts that morning....that feels great, doesn't it?
If your 'thanks!' contains a funny note, it's even better. That way, you avoid the awkwardness that occurs with most friends when they receive a compliment. Make it short, easy to accept, and don't give it just because you expect a return on investment.
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